Babies on the Road

We took a ten day trip through Moab and back with the kids. It was a constant juggle, entertaining the littles while trying to figure out how to keep them fed, watered, and asleep in unfamiliar places and shared quarters. Last year, we camped for three nights in Golden for the Golden Bluegrass Festival, but we lasted two nights. Aspen began to fall apart and scream in the middle of the night. She's never been too good about being active all day and skipping her nap. Most kids get tired with that schedule, but for her, it's monster fuel. Anyhow, after two nights and the end of the festival, we didn't think we needed to torture ourselves and decided to return home a night early. She has never traveled very well, and this 10 day vacation was sure to be an adventure.

We drove to Moab in one day. It went rather well, up until the camper flat tire in Glenwood Canyon. We were fortunate that there was some nearby construction and an amazing system of cameras throughout the canyon. A man was there ready to divert traffic, immediately. Duane was able to fix the flat within a few minutes and we spent the next hour at Discount Tire. With two new tires, we headed into town to visit the local brewery for lunch, then be on our way. A few more hours, and we would pull into camp.

I was disappointed with Moab as we pulled in during a crazy desert storm. It had been incessantly raining in Colorado Springs when we left. I had told Aspen that it wouldn't and didn't rain in the desert. She was sure to remind me of this assertion many times. We met up with a couple of friends, Vanessa and Andy, en route and at camp to run the Thelma and Louise Half-Marathon with. They drove their RV and enjoyed comfort and dryness, while we set up the popup camper.

During the night, the rain continued and became more fierce. Around 1 a.m., our EZ-up tent had completely collapsed. Metal bent and destroyed, it was in pieces. Around 3 a.m., I decided that if the rain continued at 5, I would not be running the race. The rain finally stopped at some point. I fumbled around in our dark camper to put on my Skirtsports Lioness skirt and to lace up my shoes. I met Vanessa at our van, and we headed to the start of the race.

The Thelma and Louise is an all women's event that runs along the Colorado River. I warmed up for a mile, and then headed to the start. I was surprised to see everyone standing sheepishly around the start and afraid to line up in front of the 1:45 pacer. I knew I would run faster than 1:45, so I joined a few other women at the front of the start. I ran in 5th place for the majority of the race. Around mile 9, the women holding 1st and 2nd began to dramatically slow down. I passed each one, and began to really push my pace in the last two miles as I felt someone on my shoulder. I knew the difference between 3rd and 4th place was pretty huge, so I fought to the finish. I finished at 1:40:14 in 3rd position, only seconds before the next runner. I ran back for Vanessa. Then, we both ran back so that I could run a total of 17 miles, following my marathon plan.

We spent a few days in Moab, finding the small hikes in Arches and Canyonlands to walk along with the kids. We also hiked the Negro Bill hike, which was a really tough route with small children. It became really hot in the last couple of miles of the hike. Truthfully, I bribed Aspen with ice cream and a stuffed animal.

We headed back into Colorado, and had a layover in Glenwood Springs at a friends house. It was relieving to sleep in a real bed, and to put the kids to bed early. They had been staying up later, and the lack of schedule was starting to overwhelm everyone. We visited the hot springs, but Aspen mostly needed a day out of the sun to rest. She enjoyed some TV and a good sleep. I was able to get a fantastic run along the Roaring Fork River in the rain the next day. That afternoon we headed to Vail for a couple of nights at the Healthy Schools Retreat. It was a fantastic stay. Duane and the kids were able to explore Vail, while I attended the conference.

Catching up on GoT in the hotel bathroom, while the kids slept.

After Vail, we headed to the Shoshoni Yoga Retreat Center for family weekend. It's an amazing program with beautiful surroundings, restful yoga, great activities for the kids, and fantastic food. On the last morning of our stay (and the last morning of our trip), I left the camper at 4:40 a.m. to run the Skirtsports 13er in Boulder. Ten days in a camper and two half-marathons might've been overly ambitious.

The race starts at Home Depot in Louisville, Colorado. The first year of the race, they ran us over a bridge overpass, which bottle-necked the runners to a standstill. Thankfully, they walked us over the bridge and had us start on the opposite side. The course climbs a lot, and the hills are really long. At first, I thought this was the reason for my slow start. Close to mile 8, and in the middle of the longest hill, I was passed by a young girl that I beat in the T&L half. At that point, I realized that sleeping in a camper and travel, in general, probably affected my race. No big deal. The event helped me focus on getting my distance for marathon training during vacation. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have run at all on vacation. I was suppose to finish 20 miles that day. I warmed up for a mile and was able to run an additional mile after the race, but that was it. No 20 for me. I was done. It was hot, and I missed my family. I enjoyed some post race oranges and snacks. They also had cake, which was nice, but the heat had me feeling really sick.

When I ran the race during the first year, Aspen was there, and I was pregnant. This year would have been perfect to have kids around, because Home Depot had a little maker's station underneath a tent for kids to build projects. I also didn't stick around long, because, unlike the first year, I didn't have any friends join me. A few of us ran the first year, but it didn't work out this time around. Hopefully, we can get a group going next year.

Later that day, we headed home and enjoyed sleeping in our own home and beds. The trip was a definite success with Aspen and Rowan. We visited with countless dear friends along the way. Overall, it was fantastic. I have learned that if I plan to travel to a race, to have that race be within the first 24 hours of my trip. It's not that I won't do this again...because the trip and two races were really fun, but I just won't expect to run very well at the second event.

Real women love, laugh, run, move...

Here I am, one year and 3 months after having my second baby and I have learned so much. Then again, hindsight is 20/20. When I had my first baby, running was easy throughout my pregnancy. I really didn't understand how people felt unmotivated to stay physically active. After her birth, I was able to return to my prior level of physical fitness within a few months. Within a few more months, I was running faster than I had ever run before.

I had a hard time keeping myself from comparing pregnancies. The second time around I felt more morning sickness and generally more lethargy. I wasn't able to run for most of my pregnancy. This made me feel like a failure. After all, I was told time and time again by a variety of people and resources that pregnant women were now competing in amazingly difficult races and doing quite well. I was frustrated that I couldn't. As a matter of fact, I quit trying to walk or run around 30 weeks. Little did I know that my baby, at that time weighed about 8 lbs, the same weight that my first was at birth.

 

This amazing baby was born 10 lbs 10 oz and full of contentment. He is perfect in every way. Immediately after his birth, I felt the need to get moving but lacked the ability and drive. It may seem ridiculous that I was so disappointed in my low activity level, but was it really? ridiculous? I just wanted to sit on a chair and nurse while snuggling my son. But, surrounded with internet articles and television gossip regarding the last big celebrity to have the last high-profile pregnancy and the perfect "post baby bod", how could I not feel that pressure? I quickly reconciled with my issues, and happily took to nursing on the couch, rather than trying to hobble my way through a run.

My return to fitness was slow and different. I've spent a lot more time being okay with the unexpected diversion away from my workout. I've spent a lot less time training for the next big thing. I still get my share of running and workouts, but a lot of time it isn't what I expected. I might need to take the kids to the YMCA and enjoy a long distance run on the treadmill, rather than spending my time outside on a trail. I might push the kids in the dualie, rather than enjoying a simple, resistance-free run. I might take the kids to the park, for a walk, to the zoo, etc. I'm recognizing more and more that time running is good for the soul, and time away from running is also good for the soul.

What does #realwomenmove mean to me? It means finding balance. It means making time for myself, but enjoying the richness of being needed and loved so dearly. It means giving time, space and compassion to myself throughout life changes. It means loving every opportunity that I have to love, laugh, run and move.

Creating Community in 2015

I woke up to run another race this morning, that I really wasn't prepared for. I've been running, but I haven't been training. I just don't have the time, nor the desire, to really push myself. "Desire" is the important part. I have the motivation to run, but I don't have the motivation to be fast...and I couldn't care less. My running has been at odds with a few minor ailments: my seriously sprained ankle from the Pony Express, an abdominal hernia from my enormous baby, lack of sleep from big baby and a plethora of illnesses. My running has also been at odds with my enormous desire to soak up baby snuggles. So, after a long day at work, I'd much rather go home, cuddle, play and do some yoga when the babies are in bed.

I did surprisingly well in the race, considering my physical and slightly mental issues, and I still plan to run distance and work towards running a marathon in the fall. However, I've really been spending my extra effort and focus on creating community....and generally being more active in the communities that I have already held close. This is a major "outside-of-the-box" goal for me, a total introvert, quite possibly the person that is most likely to ignore you in a public space...simply because "breaking the ice" terrifies me.

I am working on this in a few ways:

1. I am trying to make more personal connections, including remembering people's names. This may include approaching someone that I know...even a little, and starting a conversation. This is the hardest of my goals.

2. I am trying to make more meaningful connections at work. I've started teaching yoga and have organized a running group. I've also developed some small opportunities for everyone to connect more.

3. I am trying to be more involved in the yoga community. This involves the community that I feel safe in and communities that are more distant. I am also working on shedding shame that I have about my practice, studies and beliefs. They may be different from yours, but they help me to be a better person, and that is all that should matter.

4. I am "invested" as a teacher and a coach, but I will not sacrifice the needs of my family. I'm spending less time working at home. I trust that things will "get done". I am also spending more time in the off-season with my athletes and their families. We've developed a great, strong group of runners and running parents. Our winter "team" is represented by about 8 different groups of families or teachers.

Overall, I feel that I am finding a balance among the things that really matter. I might not run as fast as I once did, but I have so much more to be proud of in my life. THIS is where I want to be.

Revisiting my Goals

It was a good month for running. I had a strong Labor Day race, where my goal to beat 1:45 was just barely met. I finished 7th overall and 2nd in my age group. I felt terrific, and enjoyed the very familiar course.

I trained hard. I ran some great distances every weekend and had some great track and hill workouts during the week. I cross trained and put in a ton of mileage. I ran the trail around Rampart Range a few times, preparing to have a better race in the Pony Express. The first time that I ran the Pony Express, I had raced a 5k distance a couple of times and had run the 7 miles around Waldo Canyon once. Once. 7 miles, one time. The Pony Express is 15ish single track miles around the reservoir. It was hell, and I never went back.

My goal in training was to finish it more comfortably. The third time that I ran the trail, however (a mere five days after the Labor Day race), I twisted my ankle 4 miles in. It was pretty minor, and I was able to keep running comfortably. When I showed up on race day, my only goal was to run without injury.

I started out in front, because I felt comfortable about being passed and I wanted to hit the single track without getting stuck behind people. I kept waiting and waiting for a female runner to pass me. I wasn't positive about what place I was in, so I convinced myself that it wasn't first and just kept on running. Eventually, I realized that no one would be passing me as I settled into the last 5 miles of the race. At this point, a volunteer also let me know that I was the first female.

At three miles from the finish, I broke my original goal of finishing uninjured, when I landed on the side of my ankle. It was painful. I stopped for a moment and limped along, but I kept running. Maybe it was the fact that I was in first. Maybe it was the fact that it was cold and I didn't want to just sit along the trail. Either way, I finished the race in first place. Yay?

I was scheduled to run the Colorado Springs Half Marathon the next weekend and the Xterra this weekend. I didn't run the CS Half, because my ankle was a grapefruit. It's been a little over two weeks and I think I've resigned to the fact that I will not be running the Xterra. I tried running on Monday, and it seems that I won't be running for quite awhile. This has me really questioning my half-marathon-a-month goal. I probably won't run a half in October and may bail from the November race, just to ensure that I'm healed. The purpose of my goal was really to get back into shape. I'm thinking that I've at least achieved that and I'm wondering if I should set my sights on something different. Maybe a century ride in 2015, or a fast marathon next fall, perhaps another half ironman. I haven't completely given up yet, but I'm open to new suggestions.

A Half-Marathon-a-Month: 2 down, 10 to go

In July, I ran my first half-marathon after having the baby. I finished in 1:55:24, which beat the 2:00 goal. The race was good, but most of my training had been on a treadmill. After a couple of miles, it was apparent that I needed to get outside more. The race was good. It's a simple even that runs along the Santa Fe Trail. The out-and-back course makes for a nice race in terms of aid station assistance. It was nicely supported for a nursing mommy. During the following weeks, I seriously increased my time on trails and pushing Rowan in a stroller.

The work paid off, because last weekend, I ran the Rocky Mountain Half Marathon. It was also a very well supported race. It is on the pricier side and is basically all road, but the even had a few key things that made it amazing.

First of all, hydropouches. The run was cup free, and as a person that has worked many aid stations and has begged people to help with aid stations, I thought this was awesome. Each station had two volunteers and a few water or gatorade coolers. You filled your own complimentary hydropouch and continued on with your race. If you're really running fast, I could see this possibly slowing you down, but when you know it's cup free, going in...you could just bring something that will keep you hydrated for the duration of the race. Frankly, when I was faster, I wasn't drinking during a race anyhow.

Secondly....drones. That's right...fricken drones at 5 a.m. flying around and taking pictures of us before the race. I still haven't seen the pictures, but I thought it was pretty wild. They also took a billion pictures and videos during the event. At some point, someone was even stalking me with a camera and their car. Haven't seen the pictures...but...wait a minute...I suppose it could've been some freakazoid, but it was 6 a.m.

Next, the Stanley. You know, the creepy hotel? It started and ended in front of the Stanley Hotel. Which hopefully has chickens, because during my warmup run at 5:30 a.m., there was something that sounded like chickens clucking...or children screaming.

Finally, the people. I would say Colorado Springs has some of the best runners on the planet. I'm not really talking about skill, though there are plenty of amazing runners...I'm actually talking about good vibes. I was cheered on by a number of cops working the race, and a local old guy thanked everyone for coming to Estes Park as we ran by. The best, was the 1:55 pacer. As I turned back into the Stanley drive, the 1:55 pacer came running back to bring me in under 1:55. I was close by gun time, but ended up finishing in 1:54.04 by chip time. I have never seen someone so enthusiastic, and he actually got the entire crowd pumped up for me, along with the announcer. Considering I showed up solo, allowing the hubs and kids to keep sleeping at 4:30 a.m., it was awesome to have so many people cheering me on.

We had a lovely stay at the YMCA of the Rockies, which I highly recommend for anyone visiting Estes Park with a family. I think we may both end up running this one next year. It was the best race that I have had in as long as I can remember, because I allowed myself to enjoy the views and left my Garmin at home. In September, I plan to run the American Discovery Trail Half Marathon and the Pony Express. I'm also planning to have a date with Duane to run Rampart Reservoir sometime this month.

Full of Myself

I recently found myself reading the comments on a Youtube video. This horrible time-suck got me thinking. You see, this video was a woman that was pushing her diet ideas and happily promoting her healthy lifestyle. While I think her approach to improving other people's health is flawed (read Body, Mind and Sport for an overview of what I do think works for optimizing your health), I thought her confidence and happiness was lovely. Obviously, not every commenter would have agreed. One woman referred to her as being "full of herself".

I found myself reflecting on this statement. If you aren't full of yourself, then what the hell are you full of? What is so wrong with a woman being confident in her body and her choices? Having dealt with a near lifetime of self-esteem issues, I am pretty proud to be confident about myself, my body, my everything. Sure, I do things and say things that aren't great, but that doesn't mean I'm not great, it just means I make mistakes, like all other humans on the planet. It also doesn't mean that my life is easy. I encounter obstacles within and without myself constantly. But I have learned to work on my negative traits, to let go of dramas that don't matter, and to embrace the difficult changes that sometimes surface.

When we speak negatively about someone being full of himself/herself, I would argue that we are typically referring to a woman. When we discuss the same traits in a man, we use words like "proud", "strong", or "independent". The same traits in a woman, for some reason or another, are unwelcome. I would also argue that mostly women abuse the phase "full of herself" in reference to other women. Maybe it's jealousy, perhaps personal despair, regardless, it ruins our collective psyche, limiting the sum of our potential. It says, "Stay quiet, woman. You are not worthy."

This past weekend, I was teaching a restorative yoga workshop. I spent some time discussing how truly happy I am in my life at this moment, "blissed out", as I like to call it. I feel that finding balance in the chaos of life with true rest and rejuvenation brings me this happiness. It helps that I have an amazing little family, too. But as these words fell out of my mouth, I immediately felt guilty. Isn't it funny that I would feel guilty about sharing my happiness? It isn't really funny. It's totally normal, because proclaiming one's happiness with life, body, love, etc. is "being full of yourself". But, when I put all of these words together on this page and reflect, I want nothing less than being full of myself.

A Shout out to High-Five Hoodoo

When I first started running, Duane would take me over to Palmer Park to run the Templeton Gap trail. You might be familiar with the trail. It's death in the form of some dirt and rocks. The terrain involves intense, short climbs that will leave you hating running, and your partner, at least it did for me. Duane is also very fast, and I'm pretty sure he could've hiked the 3.8 mile route faster than my beginner legs could run it.

I had a lot of special stops along this run "The Hill I Hate", "Kill me Now Rocks", and "High-Five Hoodoo", my most favorite. Typically, at these places, I would be doubled over, panting, and all out crying tears of pain and hate for the trail. With the breath that I would have left, I was regularly chanting, "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't...." High-Five Hoodoo was a little different.

As a beginning trail runner, I found myself constantly watching Duane's footwork and trying my best to move with the same light, quick strides. At the last 0.3 miles of the run, High-Five Hoodoo just seems to jump right into the trail. I'm pretty sure it smacked me on my first couple of runs. Once I caught on to its game, I started hitting it back. My hits started as slaps of anger across it's sandy surface, as if the hoodoo represented all of Palmer Park. After months and months of training in the park, these slaps evolved into a habitual hand brush across the rock. But, somehow along the way, I actually began to enjoy these runs and my hit became more of a high-five.

I run a lot of different routes through that park, now. Some are only 3.8 miles and some are as long as 13.3 miles. Each run gets a visit to High-Five Hoodoo. Somehow, that rock actually pulled me through so much training. But, alas, now that I have two kids and live on the west side, I never get over to Palmer Park any longer. I kind of miss my sturdy, ancient running buddy.

Today, I didn't get over and run in Palmer Park. As a matter of fact, I haven't been in that park for well over a year. But, I offered up my run to High-Five Hoodoo, because with two kids, I ran on the dreadmill. I didn't just run on the treadmill, but I ran 10 miles on the treadmill. I was a little afraid of defeat from this 90 minute run. After all, it is much easier to bail on a treadmill, compared to an out-and-back route. But I did it, and on some level, I'm pretty sure High-Five Hoodoo is pretty impressed.